The over-educated barista

I can cite to you what Cicero wrote to his best mates,
I can talk about the Punic wars, the enemies and the dates,
I can even tell about what Sophocles told his antique peers,
I can account for every major event including days, and months, and years.

I can discuss the ins-and-outs and the all-abouts,
I have opinions by the book,
I can grip you with my education and my dearest hook
On how bureaucracy and communism can cheat you off your life.
I can, without having ever dated, tell you how to treat your wife.
I have knowledge that I need to dispense
I have wisdom that compares to few.
I have stories, facts and interests,
about Tibet, sports and juice.
I am well versed, well read and easy forgotten.
I am the epitomy of condescension, the patronizing sword
I am the who likes to talk
and make you feel real small.
I am the one annoying all-known know-it-all
I am the unambitous incarnation of your biggest fear
I am the incredible obnoxiousness that studied through the years
I am not going to be anything or going really far
I am the over-educated coffee shop barista